Artifacts.

So...we have been in Vancouver a month now and it continues to be really exciting and promising! I'm really chuffed with how well we've done in such little time and what we have done in the last 6 months with such little money. It's been a real adventure.

We are now settled in to our flat and are really enjoying living with Ami and Michael. It's really great to be living with such positive and open-minded people who are always looking at their own lives and striving to improve themselves and achieve their goals. I think it's going to be a really positive experience for us. Throughout our travels we have done a lot more reflecting about what it was we wanted to change about our lives and it's helpful to be around people who live very different but fulfilling lives that we can take inspiration from!

Having said that, sometimes it feels very lonely and frustrating to feel like we're starting again. And also because we're not properly earning again, money is tight. I'm actually really missing all my belongings and clothes, jewellery etc. All those things that make me feel like I'm home and like 'me'. I've been feeling guilty and ungrateful for feeling a bit down that I don't have all my belongings and such a limited and cheap (!) wardrobe. Martin and I had been talking about this being a chance to reinvent ourselves and that we could create whole new identities for ourselves. But the reality is we don't have the money to do that and actually I don't want to reinvent myself - I quite like who I am!

At home I often feel guilty (see a theme?!) for buying clothes, accessories or something for the house that isn't absolutely essential. I feel it's gluttonous and that I don't deserve to when other people don't have any disposable income and can barely feed themselves. I've been thinking about why I want particular clothes or jewellery or a new haircut and for me I think it is to individualise myself, show some of my personality. Although I suppose other people have different reasons - to display wealth, to fit in, to stand out, to attract the attention of the opposite sex etc, etc.

Last weekend, I went to the Museum of Anthropology here in Vancouver and I spent a good few hours admiring all the beautiful objects and artifacts from aboriginal cultures from all over the world. Many of these objects were colourfully and intricately decorated. Some of the objects were purely decorative and others had some function, lots of a spiritual or religious nature.



I was trying to decide why these objects seemed less frivilous and acceptable to me. Because they were displayed in a museum?...

I decided it was because all of these objects had been hand-made. Each one was individual. Time and love and been invested in these objects. They represented a moment in that person and family's history. There was something inherently spiritual about these objects regardless of their purpose. And there is something special about that. I know that the few belongings I have of my grandparents are very special to me and are treasured, because they are representations of their memory and how important they were to me. It is the same for these objects in the museum, a lot would have been past down through generations. They were a record of history, the story of a culture.

I don't think we have that any more in the developed world, or very rarely. How often do we buy something handmade or even make something ourselves. Most things that we buy and own are mass-produced. There is also this attitude that everything is disposable. We buy things so cheaply that we think we can wear a dress once and then throw it away. We are so distanced from the process involved in making these things and we can get things so easily. Most things we buy are easily replaceable - we could buy the exact same object again. We haven't seen it being made or know who made it, in fact it's often made by a machine, so there is nothing of ourselves invested in that object.

After the visit to the museum I decided that I want to create 'artifacts' for my family and have some kind of skill/craft that I can pass down to my children, that becomes part of our heritage. I thought about all the happy times I spent as a child 'creating' something with my mum and sister (usually a mess) and the happy afternoons I've spent with friends or family crafting. I think of the wonderful homemade gifts and cards I've been given and how treasured they are.

The visit to the museum also made me realise that every culture throughout history has sought to decorate and identify themselves and their homes. It is a 'human' thing to want to do. So does that allow me to buy a new wardrobe?;)